There is nothing really to report, as I am 100% positive that I am beginning to PMDD. It is useless and backwards for me to sit here and vent, as I will end up wanting to pig out due to frustration. So, I choose to avoid being negative and sleeping it off.
Weight: 160.5lbs [Haven't lost, but haven't gained.]
Food: 1 protein bar; 2 bananas; 5 small pieces chocolate; split pea soup w/pinto & black beans; spinach & baked sweet potatoes; broccoli cheese nuggets. I am sure I ate something else, but my mind has drawn a blank.
Beverages: 2 16oz Diet Snapples; Water; 1 20oz Diet Sunkist.
Exercise: Running around work like a headless chicken.
Overall Feeling: Frustrated with things out of my control; generally sleepy; wishing the week to be over already. But, happy I'm not in the mood to binge out.
Monday, September 6, 2010
Sunday, September 5, 2010
Day Two, It's Really Real
Last night, I took some melatonin, hoping to suppress the midnight snack attack. I gave into my desire for something yummy and ate some more cheese puffs. Ooops. We all slip up, right? Plus yesterday was the beginning of being mindful of how I am treating my body. By being aware that late nights [and possibly boredom or loneliness] often lead to mindless snacking, I am much more inclined to figure out ways of avoiding moments of, um, weakness. [I would love to avoid negative language...]
Today was a productive day. Sure, I slept until I had to drag myself out of bed in order to get to work. But, I got there 15 minutes early, so all is well. The day seemed like it was going to be a good one. But, I allowed the negative energy from co-workers get to me. And, what's my go to feel good trick? Bananas and chocolate. While I am not please I ate both, I managed to eat only one banana and a couple tiny pieces of chocolate. I also opted for porridge, something I could have definitely done without. On the plus side, the porridge contained no processed ingredients and was packed with fiber. Heart and digestive friendly.
When I am on a healthy kick, I am sure I mentioned that I always crave salads. I stopped by Pluto's again tonight to pick up another salad. YUM. My server moved to quickly, so I got a slice of focaccia again. I am not one to waste food, so I ate the slice, knowing it would help satisfy my carb craving. Also, I stopped by Whole Foods to see what soups they had. I ended up leaving with 14oz of vegan split pea and some black & pinto beans, which I added to the soup. I probably could have done without the soup & beans, but the fiber and protein were calling my name. I ended the day with a serving of Whole Foods popcorn, which has a fairly low carbohydrate count and about 2 or 3 grams of fiber per serving. [I'm all about fiber, if you couldn't tell.]
The food I ended my day with satisfied me, physically and emotionally. I could have easily eaten a bowl of pasta with cheese. But, that would have left me feeling physically uncomfortable and incredibly guilty about my dining choice. What I have given my body today have all been much more nourishing, full of amazing nutrients and satisfaction.
Weight: didn't weigh in today due to rushing out of the door.
Food consumed: 1 cup multigrain O's; 2 protein bars; 1 banana; 2 small pieces chocolate; one small raspberry macaroon; 1 serving porridge; 14oz split pea soup w/~ 1 cup pinto/black beans; Pluto's salad; 1 slice focaccia; 1 serving popcorn.
Beverages: 3 cans Diet Hansen's; 1 can Diet Coke; 20oz water
Exercise: no explicit workout time, but was on feet for 6.5 hours at work.
Overall feeling: Satisfied; much more accomplished; wishing I had eaten more water filled fruit & less starch, as well as consumed more water. Mainly, I am glad I am keeping myself more aware of how I am treating my body. I understand that this will take time & I must take every day one by one.
Today was a productive day. Sure, I slept until I had to drag myself out of bed in order to get to work. But, I got there 15 minutes early, so all is well. The day seemed like it was going to be a good one. But, I allowed the negative energy from co-workers get to me. And, what's my go to feel good trick? Bananas and chocolate. While I am not please I ate both, I managed to eat only one banana and a couple tiny pieces of chocolate. I also opted for porridge, something I could have definitely done without. On the plus side, the porridge contained no processed ingredients and was packed with fiber. Heart and digestive friendly.
When I am on a healthy kick, I am sure I mentioned that I always crave salads. I stopped by Pluto's again tonight to pick up another salad. YUM. My server moved to quickly, so I got a slice of focaccia again. I am not one to waste food, so I ate the slice, knowing it would help satisfy my carb craving. Also, I stopped by Whole Foods to see what soups they had. I ended up leaving with 14oz of vegan split pea and some black & pinto beans, which I added to the soup. I probably could have done without the soup & beans, but the fiber and protein were calling my name. I ended the day with a serving of Whole Foods popcorn, which has a fairly low carbohydrate count and about 2 or 3 grams of fiber per serving. [I'm all about fiber, if you couldn't tell.]
The food I ended my day with satisfied me, physically and emotionally. I could have easily eaten a bowl of pasta with cheese. But, that would have left me feeling physically uncomfortable and incredibly guilty about my dining choice. What I have given my body today have all been much more nourishing, full of amazing nutrients and satisfaction.
Weight: didn't weigh in today due to rushing out of the door.
Food consumed: 1 cup multigrain O's; 2 protein bars; 1 banana; 2 small pieces chocolate; one small raspberry macaroon; 1 serving porridge; 14oz split pea soup w/~ 1 cup pinto/black beans; Pluto's salad; 1 slice focaccia; 1 serving popcorn.
Beverages: 3 cans Diet Hansen's; 1 can Diet Coke; 20oz water
Exercise: no explicit workout time, but was on feet for 6.5 hours at work.
Overall feeling: Satisfied; much more accomplished; wishing I had eaten more water filled fruit & less starch, as well as consumed more water. Mainly, I am glad I am keeping myself more aware of how I am treating my body. I understand that this will take time & I must take every day one by one.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
Day One, The Truth
As it is my day off and I am without any obligations, I allowed myself to sleep in. I lounged in bed until 11.15 or so, allowing my cat to snuggle with me to her heart's content. Not to sound like a crazy cat lady, but she really is a wonderful creature. Sometimes, I forget she is a cat.
I took the day to relax and not worry about life. A couple movies were watched, a shower was taken, and a trip to the tanning salon and bookstore made for happy times. I stopped into Trader Joe's & Whole Foods to pick up vegetables, Diet Hansen's, limes, protein bars, almond milk, and rice protein powder. As part of my attempt to tone up and regulate my body, I am doing my best to avoid soy products. [By the way, did I mention I am a vegetarian?] I hope that by cutting out the soy, I can regulate my hormones - thyroid & estrogen.
Hearty salads are my go to healthy comfort food. When they contain a variety of leaves, legumes, and dense veggies such as broccoli, I feel satisfied without feeling full or guilty. So, I stopped by Pluto's in downtown Palo Alto. I ordered my usual mixed greens, peas, corn, broccoli, beets, kidney beans, and cucumber with balsamic vinaigrette. They gave me the obligatory slice of focaccia, which I should have opted not to get. Luckily, it satisfied my carb craving. Easing off the bread/pasta type carbs is the best way to go. I need to stick to carbs that come primarily from legumes, quinoa, and fruit. Luckily, the majority of the carbohydrates in vegetables come from fiber. This is where the rice protein & almond milk shakes come into play. This way I can be sure I am getting protein without all the added sugar and dairy.
I am in my PJs, watching a movie. In a few hours I am going to get into bed with the two books I purchased:
The Writing Diet by Julia Cameron
When Food Is Love by Geneen Roth
Both books have been highly recommended by friends. 'The Writing Diet' will allow me to utilize my desire to write, giving me a positive activity to replace my mindless eating. 'When Food Is Love' tells the stories of the author's struggle, as well as those of people who have attended her seminars & classes. With daily reading and mindfulness practice, I hope that the next few months will provide some sort of success, physical and/or emotional.
Weight: 160.5lbs [yikes]
Food eaten: An apple with self-ground peanut butter; some honeydew melon; small bowl of veggies & black beans; 3 Muskateers Truffle Crisp [yummy, less sugary chocolate treat]; some Barbara's cheese puffs; big salad from Pluto's with a small slice of focaccia; potato/leek soup mixed with broccoli & cauliflower.
Beverages: 2 mugs (double bagged) of Yogi Green Tea Slim Life; 8oz Diet 7up; 12oz can Diet Hansen's; water.
Exercise: No purposeful exercise, but did walk around downtown for a bit.
Overall feeling: Satisfied and at ease, although wanting to have done more exercise.
I took the day to relax and not worry about life. A couple movies were watched, a shower was taken, and a trip to the tanning salon and bookstore made for happy times. I stopped into Trader Joe's & Whole Foods to pick up vegetables, Diet Hansen's, limes, protein bars, almond milk, and rice protein powder. As part of my attempt to tone up and regulate my body, I am doing my best to avoid soy products. [By the way, did I mention I am a vegetarian?] I hope that by cutting out the soy, I can regulate my hormones - thyroid & estrogen.
Hearty salads are my go to healthy comfort food. When they contain a variety of leaves, legumes, and dense veggies such as broccoli, I feel satisfied without feeling full or guilty. So, I stopped by Pluto's in downtown Palo Alto. I ordered my usual mixed greens, peas, corn, broccoli, beets, kidney beans, and cucumber with balsamic vinaigrette. They gave me the obligatory slice of focaccia, which I should have opted not to get. Luckily, it satisfied my carb craving. Easing off the bread/pasta type carbs is the best way to go. I need to stick to carbs that come primarily from legumes, quinoa, and fruit. Luckily, the majority of the carbohydrates in vegetables come from fiber. This is where the rice protein & almond milk shakes come into play. This way I can be sure I am getting protein without all the added sugar and dairy.
I am in my PJs, watching a movie. In a few hours I am going to get into bed with the two books I purchased:
The Writing Diet by Julia Cameron
When Food Is Love by Geneen Roth
Both books have been highly recommended by friends. 'The Writing Diet' will allow me to utilize my desire to write, giving me a positive activity to replace my mindless eating. 'When Food Is Love' tells the stories of the author's struggle, as well as those of people who have attended her seminars & classes. With daily reading and mindfulness practice, I hope that the next few months will provide some sort of success, physical and/or emotional.
Weight: 160.5lbs [yikes]
Food eaten: An apple with self-ground peanut butter; some honeydew melon; small bowl of veggies & black beans; 3 Muskateers Truffle Crisp [yummy, less sugary chocolate treat]; some Barbara's cheese puffs; big salad from Pluto's with a small slice of focaccia; potato/leek soup mixed with broccoli & cauliflower.
Beverages: 2 mugs (double bagged) of Yogi Green Tea Slim Life; 8oz Diet 7up; 12oz can Diet Hansen's; water.
Exercise: No purposeful exercise, but did walk around downtown for a bit.
Overall feeling: Satisfied and at ease, although wanting to have done more exercise.
Day One, First of Many
We all like to say "This is going to be my year." We all like to believe that it will turn out to be the best year of our life. Somehow, life throws us a curveball and we get sidetracked. Correct?
At the beginning of this year, I promised that I would take steps in the right direction to fulfill my life. I would do things to help myself feel like my time is being well spent. Finally landing a full time job with better pay has been taken care of. My physical health has not. I've ballooned almost 20 pounds in the last year, leaving me feeling extremely defeated each time I attempt to put on my "fat" jeans. [Girls, you know exactly what I'm talking about. We all have a pair... or five.] I've tackled a long journey through depression and emotional eating. I am a typical major depressive and I find habitual things [usually unhealthy] to self-soothe. Food is my main go to medicine.
In my self defeated state today, I have decided that enough is enough. I am done with my self medicating through food. No more shall I hide behind a gargantuan bowl of salty, buttery oatmeal or beans & rice. This is it. I'm going to claim back the body I rightfully deserve. Sure, maintaining a healthy body and mind takes a good amount of effort. This is why I've let myself go - the effort was too overwhelming, which is unfair on my mind and body. I'm over it. I choose to be happy. And, I know I will be much happier when my body is in good physical shape.
Each day, for the next 365 days, I intend on documenting what I eat, how I spend my time, and how I feel about what I have done. This includes moments I might relapse into an emotional eating slump. I am going to write it all down and make myself accountable for my own health.
Please feel free to join me during this transformation. Send advice, support, constructive criticism, or love my way. Let me know if I can change what I'm doing. Fill me in on health tips or useful resources.
And, if any of you reading this are in the same boat as me, don't be shy. Reach out and tell me your story. I know and understand there are many people out there feeling exactly as I am.
At the beginning of this year, I promised that I would take steps in the right direction to fulfill my life. I would do things to help myself feel like my time is being well spent. Finally landing a full time job with better pay has been taken care of. My physical health has not. I've ballooned almost 20 pounds in the last year, leaving me feeling extremely defeated each time I attempt to put on my "fat" jeans. [Girls, you know exactly what I'm talking about. We all have a pair... or five.] I've tackled a long journey through depression and emotional eating. I am a typical major depressive and I find habitual things [usually unhealthy] to self-soothe. Food is my main go to medicine.
In my self defeated state today, I have decided that enough is enough. I am done with my self medicating through food. No more shall I hide behind a gargantuan bowl of salty, buttery oatmeal or beans & rice. This is it. I'm going to claim back the body I rightfully deserve. Sure, maintaining a healthy body and mind takes a good amount of effort. This is why I've let myself go - the effort was too overwhelming, which is unfair on my mind and body. I'm over it. I choose to be happy. And, I know I will be much happier when my body is in good physical shape.
Each day, for the next 365 days, I intend on documenting what I eat, how I spend my time, and how I feel about what I have done. This includes moments I might relapse into an emotional eating slump. I am going to write it all down and make myself accountable for my own health.
Please feel free to join me during this transformation. Send advice, support, constructive criticism, or love my way. Let me know if I can change what I'm doing. Fill me in on health tips or useful resources.
And, if any of you reading this are in the same boat as me, don't be shy. Reach out and tell me your story. I know and understand there are many people out there feeling exactly as I am.
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